It's these dead-of-night times that are the worst....

It's these dead-of-night times that are the worst. When it's quiet, and there's nothing to keep my mind from thinking. This is when I feel the most damaged, when I can't make my own head shut the hell up.


I keep wanting to hate her, but I can't bring myself to it. Why should I? I've never hated her, and can't make myself start now. Which is probably why all of this hurts so much. Probably why I keep calling her, even though I know it's just going to cut deeper each time. People are so frail inside, you know? Especially when wounded; we're like abused puppies that keep cowering back.


I just hope that those of you reading this blog can take a moment to appreciate your spouse/mate/whatever. If I walk away from this a hurt person, then my only real hope is that other people will use this to realize how wonderful their partners really are. So, you know, without falling into self-help New Age-y bullshit... take the time to appreciate your loved ones. Because when it's too late, it's too late and that's it, end of story.


And we all know that it usually sucks when the story ends.



And yeah, I'm just as fucking sick of listening to myself whine as you are reading it. If I could stop, I would.